This past weekend I attended the 30th anniversary reunion for my high school, Waukesha South.
High school is a terribly complicated time in a person’s life. Some people dominate and are the superstars, but never move on to anything else. They have only memories of being on top and they hold onto them. Others who were trampled upon as teenagers turn out to be very successful later. Some get through well-adjusted and continue success throughout life. Still others can’t handle everything life throws at them and and sadly, they kill themselves.
I went to the 10th anniversary reunion back in 1993 and witnessed all of the above. Cliques were still active. People showboated, trying to show how successful they had become, while others never showed up at all.
For me, high school was a time when I didn’t understand myself, much less anyone else. I could have used all the personal growth I experienced in college about six years earlier. Relationships are hard for an introvert, and I’m not sure whether I’m a natural introvert or if people eventually turned me into an introvert. I only become extroverted when I get comfortable with my surroundings and the people around me.
I went to the reunion this year, largely due to the fact I had a voucher to pay for most of the airfare and that I wanted to see some aging family members while I still had the chance.
I was pleasantly surprised because it was different this time. We had all grown up, and, with the exception of one unfortunate incident I heard about and did not involve me, everyone treated everyone else with respect.
I brought a copy of my three novels and donated them to the silent auction. People were excited to see that one of their classmates had some limited success writing. All three books sold for over the opening bid, and I signed them, too.
Unfortunately, for me high school still holds an unresolved situation involving somebody who hasn’t attended any of the reunions–somebody I have been trying to find and talk with for over 30 years. Because of that, reunion years always dredge up some very painful emotions that I’m not comfortable talking about, and they haunt me for weeks and weeks. That’s part of why I had not attended a reunion for 20 years.
That didn’t get resolved on this trip, and I wasn’t expecting it to get resolved. I’ve been very good at hiding this and keeping it inside all this time. It’s a complicated situation that may never be closed, but for the first time, I was able to confide in a small number of people who never knew. That helped a little.
That baggage aside, I did get to see a lot of people I wanted to get back in touch with, and re-meet a lot of people I like better today than I did 30 years ago.
Despite the emotional train wreck I fight my way through every reunion year, I managed to enjoy the reunion and I’m glad I went this time. A great big thanks to those of you who know who you are.
